Worldview Research Paper

March 2nd, 2020

Life is full of adventures. To some, parenting is a never ending, unpredictable, and exhilarating process of learning. Sadly, not all are ready to take on the responsibility of nurturing a new life. While some prevail with their highs and lows, many burn out easily, resulting in actions that unintentionally scar their offspring. Parents should strive to be sympathetic guardians who desire to connect with their children as friends rather than authoritarian figures because sympathetic parents understand the importance of boundaries, are easier to connect with, and are full of unconditional love. 

Most think that good parenting means having complete control over their kid. Those who believe so typically guard their children with rules, disciplinary methods, and punishments. Especially in an age where education is crowned on the high ground, many tend to place excessive pressure on their child’s academic progress. However, this parenting method causes more harm than good. According to Kelly Wallage from CNN, a study from the journal Child Development revealed that exerting pressure, whether physically or verbally, may leave an unfavourable effect on the child’s learning experience from their adolescent to young adult years. Instead, parents should be aware when they’re demonstrating signs of overparenting. A writer from The Guardian mentions, “Today’s kids are less resilient, less able to self-regulate, less respectful and carry less responsibilities.” This is due to parents being overly aware of their children, resulting in minimum growth in the child. While authoritative parents are tempted to constantly breathe down their child’s neck, sympathetic parents understand the importance of setting healthy distances between the two. 

Setting a circle of independance doesn’t completely mean leaving the child alone in darkness. During the growth of a child, he or she will make countless mistakes. When they do so, parents should always be there as their support. Bestowing mind-changing advice, irreplaceable emotional comfort, and a heart for acceptance are a few of the many responsibilities that parents must take on. In the book Hints on Child Training, the author explains that if a child is in spite of their failures, they will build a stronger relationship with their parents; if they are rejected for making mistakes, they will only learn to face troubles by themselves. In the Elephant Journal, the journalist suggests that while authoritative parents discipline their children with strict rules, they also are building suspicion and disrespect in the relationship. Especially when the young are trying to find themselves in this complicated world, parents should build a healthy friendship in which the child can find support. Unfortunately this transparency between a child and his or her parent is rare because parents often forget the importance of friendship in the relationship.

Above all, the most important ingredient for a healthy relationship between parents and children is love. The security from feeling acceptance is essential to every growing, insecure, and immature child. Again regrettably, that is not what everyone experiences. John S. Peale shares in his memoir Just How Far from the Apple Tree?, that when he became a professor, he felt as though he was constantly chasing after his father’s approval in order to receive his love. What was the root of this problem? Conditional love. Peale’s parents failed to provide him unconditional love, so he decided to chase after their conditional love. Unluckily, many other children are forced to do the same. “Strict control also develops a sense of inferiority complex, emotional disturbance and lack of courage to express fearlessly,” claims the writer of Psychology Of Adolescents In India. Rules are magnificent tools during parenthood to teach right and wrong. But once this system is abused, it can come across as requirements for love. 

While there isn’t a perfect method, procedure or formula for effective parenting, research has shown that friendship is a needed common component between the two parties. Friendship avoids over reliance, provides an honest relationship and helps connect the love a parent has for their little one. In the adventure of parenthood, many should equip themselves with the mindset of a sympathetic parent. Providing children with enough space to make decisions and offering unlimited support as well as love are the best things that parents can provide for optimal growth. (710 words) 

Citations: 

Brown, Daisy Turnbull. “Here’s How You Can Parent Less and Give Your Children Space to Try, 

Fail, and Grow from It | Daisy Turnbull Brown.” The Guardian, Guardian News and 

Media, 6 Aug. 2019, www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/aug/06/heres-how-you-can-parent-less-and-give-your-children-space-to-try-fail-and-grow-from-it.

Chaube, S. P. Psychology of Adolescents in India. Concept Pub. Co., 2002.

Peale, John S. Just How Far from the Apple Tree?: a Son in Relation to His Famous Father. 

IUniverse, Inc., 2012.

TRUMBULL, HENRY CLAY. HINTS ON CHILD-TRAINING. ECHO LIBRARY, 2018.

Wallace, Kelly. “Here’s How Harsh Parenting Can Backfire.” CNN, Cable News Network, 8 Feb. 

2017, edition.cnn.com/2017/02/08/health/harsh-parenting-education-study/index.html.

Watt, Phillip J. “Why Some Parents & Their Children Have Great Friendships.” Elephant Journal, Elephant Journal, 25 July 2014, http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/why-some-parents-their-children-have-great-friendships/.

Process: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10WcODVzS_Ki5PT-IbyXaOCG5u_OMPorvgE3wgsaWJxo/edit?usp=sharing

Brainstorm: When I chose a topic for this paper, I wanted to choose one that I was passionate about. There were quite a few topics, but I found this the most attractive since I could learn how to become a good parent for future reference. Especially in Hong Kong, I don’t think a lot of us have a good role model we can learn after. And I guess in a sense this paper is dedicated to my parents for all the things they did not do for me. Even though I probably sound so entitiled I honestly think that I would be a less broken person if only they had tried to know me better instead of working and resorting to controlling me and my siblings.